So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait
I'm your's
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate
I'm sure...
Great lines. But they don't apply to me. I'm not hesitating or making things complicated! It's simple; I'm not in a relationship, and I'm not looking for one. Nor am I even thinking about being in one! I'm taking this time to pursue God and what He wants for me. And I'm also taking this time to tie off any loose ends that still remain.
Why is there this terrible stigma about being single? I'm not unhappy whatsoever and I'm not in a hurry.
So maybe YOU should listen to Jason Mraz,
(...Open up your mind and see like me...)
and understand that you're clingy. Being single is fine. There are more ways to love than by just being in a relationship! Probably more on this topic to come...I'm now going to meet Jenna for a shmoovie. :)
Goodbye for now.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Wellp.
Save me. I shall be cleaning and trying to fit my dorm belongings into my house... good grief.
I had a great Sunday. I went to church and then hung out with some church friends. After that, I went to my friend's grandparent's house. THEEEENNNN I went to a friend's show with a friend. :) And there I saw many other friends. What a friend-filled day.
It makes me think that I have friends this summer! I usually feel like I'm the one who's like, "Hey, what are you doing today?" But I've only had to do that once! :)
Hot dog! I'm going to remember this summer as a good'ne!
I love friends.
I had a great Sunday. I went to church and then hung out with some church friends. After that, I went to my friend's grandparent's house. THEEEENNNN I went to a friend's show with a friend. :) And there I saw many other friends. What a friend-filled day.
It makes me think that I have friends this summer! I usually feel like I'm the one who's like, "Hey, what are you doing today?" But I've only had to do that once! :)
Hot dog! I'm going to remember this summer as a good'ne!
I love friends.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The Sobbies.
I should be packing and cleaning. Now I'm writing. Wrong verb, Egan! I am also drinking a tasty Aloha Java (or Java the [green] Hut as I like to call it) coffee. Dangit, Egan! Wrong verb again.
Aloha Java. That's another thing I'm going to miss this summer! They're great.
One of my roommates has moved out. It was all so fast! She was chillin' and then it was like, "bye."
Jenna and I went to the Cheesecake Fac afterwards, and I actually found something I liked besides Cheesecake! That made me feel better. Not to mention that Jenna makes me laugh. She will help me through this summer. And feed goats with me. No one ever feeds goats with me.
So that's that and a bag of chips.
Aloha Java. That's another thing I'm going to miss this summer! They're great.
One of my roommates has moved out. It was all so fast! She was chillin' and then it was like, "bye."
Jenna and I went to the Cheesecake Fac afterwards, and I actually found something I liked besides Cheesecake! That made me feel better. Not to mention that Jenna makes me laugh. She will help me through this summer. And feed goats with me. No one ever feeds goats with me.
So that's that and a bag of chips.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Syke!
Easily persuaded differently. Go me and my dreams. That's all it was! A dream! So I'm not bitter. I'm not sad though either. Whateva I guess.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
It's Alright, It's OK! I'm so Much Better Without You!
At least, that's how I feel right now.
I don't want to go back. We can't go back.
And I've been doing a better job of not talking to you, or really caring at all.
Then again, that could be my bitter stage talking...
But as of right now, I feel you wasted my time.
I don't want to go back. We can't go back.
And I've been doing a better job of not talking to you, or really caring at all.
Then again, that could be my bitter stage talking...
But as of right now, I feel you wasted my time.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I Look Stupid.
My first job: Baskin Robbins.
My first managers ever: don't really know English.
My first uniform: has icing all over it and my hat was given to me ripped. Not to mention my shirt is a Russian circus tent.
I work with a thief/stoner, two high schoolers, and a fellow CSUFer (who will be putting in her two-week notice soon).
The Baskin Robbins I work at is falling apart. My managers are broke. My checks are tiny and I get few hours.
My favorite is when my managers call at 6:30 to go in at 7:00. I mean, I love dropping everything I planned to do for work. Awesome.
I sure do love ice cream. :)
My first managers ever: don't really know English.
My first uniform: has icing all over it and my hat was given to me ripped. Not to mention my shirt is a Russian circus tent.
I work with a thief/stoner, two high schoolers, and a fellow CSUFer (who will be putting in her two-week notice soon).
The Baskin Robbins I work at is falling apart. My managers are broke. My checks are tiny and I get few hours.
My favorite is when my managers call at 6:30 to go in at 7:00. I mean, I love dropping everything I planned to do for work. Awesome.
I sure do love ice cream. :)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Summer, summer, summer.
In two weeks I'll be finished with my first year of college. This week I have a mighty paper due, next week is finals week, and then it's time to move out of my dorm. Back home.
Thing's I won't miss:
1.) Class
2.) Homework
3.) Tests
4.) Traffic
5.) Buying groceries
6.) Parking
7.) Construction
8.) Work
Things I'll miss:
1.) Katie Holland, my roommate and best friend
2.) The close distance to all things cool, like Disneyland and the beach
3.) The arboretum and its inhabitants
4.) The smell of my dorm, whether it was tolerable or not
5.) The weather
6.) The SRC
7.) Busy Bee
8.) Katie Holland and our adventures.
Next year I'm going to be an RA and a small group leader for Campus Crusade for Christ. I'm super nervous. I need to get CPR certified. I have a summer assignment! I hope I can handle it on top of school. I need to change my major! When do I make my schedule? I hope I get to room with Katie again! I wish Jenna could room with us! I wish...I wasn't going to worry about these things over summer. It's settled then. I won't.
I have to see Kara, Katie, and Jenna this summer. I have to do absolutely nothing. I have to work. I have to relax. I have to be a counselor for Camp TLC! I might take a trip to Washington. This summer might give me the answers I'm looking for. This summer might heal me.
Thing's I won't miss:
1.) Class
2.) Homework
3.) Tests
4.) Traffic
5.) Buying groceries
6.) Parking
7.) Construction
8.) Work
Things I'll miss:
1.) Katie Holland, my roommate and best friend
2.) The close distance to all things cool, like Disneyland and the beach
3.) The arboretum and its inhabitants
4.) The smell of my dorm, whether it was tolerable or not
5.) The weather
6.) The SRC
7.) Busy Bee
8.) Katie Holland and our adventures.
Next year I'm going to be an RA and a small group leader for Campus Crusade for Christ. I'm super nervous. I need to get CPR certified. I have a summer assignment! I hope I can handle it on top of school. I need to change my major! When do I make my schedule? I hope I get to room with Katie again! I wish Jenna could room with us! I wish...I wasn't going to worry about these things over summer. It's settled then. I won't.
I have to see Kara, Katie, and Jenna this summer. I have to do absolutely nothing. I have to work. I have to relax. I have to be a counselor for Camp TLC! I might take a trip to Washington. This summer might give me the answers I'm looking for. This summer might heal me.
This isn't fair!
Why is it okay for him to move on? Why is it hurtful if I do? Why do our issues get swept under a rug and all conversations end in a normal "goodnight"? He says he can't lose me, but other times it seems he can...
Why am I getting mixed signals? Why can't i decipher them? Why can't God tell me what to do?
It's logical to move on, but I don't fully want to.
In other news, my college's undie run is a-comin' and my breast friend and I are going to wear Depends and Nikes. Unbeatable combo.
Goodnight.
Why am I getting mixed signals? Why can't i decipher them? Why can't God tell me what to do?
It's logical to move on, but I don't fully want to.
In other news, my college's undie run is a-comin' and my breast friend and I are going to wear Depends and Nikes. Unbeatable combo.
Goodnight.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Windy Season.
There's absolutely nowhere to place my roots. Nowhere that can supply my limbs with the proper water supply and abundant sunlight. I spread myself in this wonderful soil that has slowly run dry and blown away.
Sometimes the wind blows it in and takes it away. I'm not sure if I should stay or seed somewhere else. The old earth felt like everything I needed, but I guess I wasn't enough for him. What is so aggravating is the fact that the dirt comes back, and for a fleeting time, I bloom again. I'm not sure if I can handle anymore shriveling.
I wish I didn't need him as much as I do. It's quite obvious he doesn't return my feelings, even though he tells me he does.
Unlike the tree I just described, I have the physical ability to go somewhere else and "place my roots". My only pickle is that I can't leave without my heart, no matter what shape it's in. It's still with him. And it's been broken, bruised, and battered. Hm. Alliterations are a bit uplifting. But I digress...
He says, "I love you," and I want to say, "I wish you meant that."
I wonder what his reaction would be. I wonder if it would make things clearer on whether I should stay on this crazy roller coaster or just walk forward. I'll continue praying for the answer to that...
Sometimes the wind blows it in and takes it away. I'm not sure if I should stay or seed somewhere else. The old earth felt like everything I needed, but I guess I wasn't enough for him. What is so aggravating is the fact that the dirt comes back, and for a fleeting time, I bloom again. I'm not sure if I can handle anymore shriveling.
I wish I didn't need him as much as I do. It's quite obvious he doesn't return my feelings, even though he tells me he does.
Unlike the tree I just described, I have the physical ability to go somewhere else and "place my roots". My only pickle is that I can't leave without my heart, no matter what shape it's in. It's still with him. And it's been broken, bruised, and battered. Hm. Alliterations are a bit uplifting. But I digress...
He says, "I love you," and I want to say, "I wish you meant that."
I wonder what his reaction would be. I wonder if it would make things clearer on whether I should stay on this crazy roller coaster or just walk forward. I'll continue praying for the answer to that...
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