Monday, May 11, 2009

Windy Season.

There's absolutely nowhere to place my roots. Nowhere that can supply my limbs with the proper water supply and abundant sunlight. I spread myself in this wonderful soil that has slowly run dry and blown away.

Sometimes the wind blows it in and takes it away. I'm not sure if I should stay or seed somewhere else. The old earth felt like everything I needed, but I guess I wasn't enough for him. What is so aggravating is the fact that the dirt comes back, and for a fleeting time, I bloom again. I'm not sure if I can handle anymore shriveling.

I wish I didn't need him as much as I do. It's quite obvious he doesn't return my feelings, even though he tells me he does.

Unlike the tree I just described, I have the physical ability to go somewhere else and "place my roots". My only pickle is that I can't leave without my heart, no matter what shape it's in. It's still with him. And it's been broken, bruised, and battered. Hm. Alliterations are a bit uplifting. But I digress...

He says, "I love you," and I want to say, "I wish you meant that."

I wonder what his reaction would be. I wonder if it would make things clearer on whether I should stay on this crazy roller coaster or just walk forward. I'll continue praying for the answer to that...

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