Words Stuck in Mud...

I'm not sure why I can't ever tell you how I feel. What is it inside of me that speeds up my irrational thoughts, and slows my mouth from speaking? Perhaps it's the distance between us... but MAYBE we're closer than I think. Perhaps my worse-case scenarios aren't far off. Perhaps it's that large wall that barricades all of your thoughts, emotions, and ultimately words. Perhaps, I'm way too fond of the chase. Lord knows I always battle that.

And why can't you tell me? We can start off by discussing what's changed over the divine broccoli cheddar soup from Panera, and then eventually, where we stand. Sound good? Oh, you have to read? That's okay, I need to muster the necessary courage. Maybe another time then.

Here it is, in my blog, where you won't come across it: I want to hang out with you. I want to text you. I want to call you. I want you to take me to Lucille's. I want to take you [against your will] to Disneyland. I want to sing to you!? I want you to teach me guitar. I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss your cheek. I want to rest my head on your chest. I want you to tell me about sexual relations in the 1960's, and the gender issues that really make your head spin. I want you to know that there is absolutely no one like you.

What changed? Was it something I did or said? Is it a change within you? Am I not the girl you thought I was? Do you not like me anymore? Am I way too much 99% of the time? Is it your anti-love theories? Are you scared? Because I understand that!

All I know is that someone has to say something.